LHM Youth Lifestyle Information – Friendships

Friendship circles are important and offer a different kind of support than what you receive from your family. Friendships helps with your mental health and can help you when you are feeling alone.

Friends can come and go and that’s okay too. We all change as we grow and as we change so can the way we think, our interests and what is important to us.

How do I talk to my friends about my heart?

We know that sometimes talking about your heart condition can feel awkward or you may not want certain people to know. That’s absolutely fine.

When and who you want to share that part of you with is your choice.

With that being said it’s a good idea to share some information with the people closest to you. Say your best mate for instance.

Think of it as a bit of insurance. If you ever find yourself needing some support or help when out with friends you will have someone that knows what’s going on without you having to say. They can help make sure you get the support you need.

Have you thought about showing them the LHM animation for your heart condition, so they understand? Or even the energy project? That way they can understand you without you having to say too much.

Here’s a link to the heart condition animations.

https://www.lhm.org.uk/about-your-heart/

What do I do when my friends have more energy than me?

As you get older, you might start noticing that your friends that have a healthy heart have more energy than you.  This can be hard to experience and may seem unfair that you have less energy so may only be able to join in with some of the social activities. It’s okay to feel a bit jealous. That is a completely normal feeling but its not your friends fault.

If you surround yourself with good friends and talk to them about having less energy, they will be more likely to understand and maybe plan some less energetic more relaxed social times. They might be able to help speak up for you when you’re embarrassed or find activities that you can do together comfortably. We know that this might be awkward and embarrassing at first but if they don’t know how you feel or how they can help they can’t.

There may be times when you don’t want everyone to know about your heart and that is completely your decision – but it will be easier for your good friends to know so they can make sure there are plans you can join in with – they need to know your limits to do this. Not every friend you make needs to know, just the ones you trust.

We know that it can become tiring hearing all the activities that aren’t the best for you with your heart condition so instead lets talk about the kind of social activities that are great for you first.

“I find going around to friends houses, or them coming around to mine to be a good social activity. It isn’t as tiring and still lots of fun!” ~ Youth Member, CK

Outings to the cinema are great ways to hang out with your friends without using all of your energy, you can even snack to replenish your spoons. It’s nice and warm and you get to sit in comfy chairs –win win!

Going out for meals are ideal, whether you’re going for a Chinese, Indian or cheeky Nando’s the company you are with can make it fun.

Bowling is a great way to have fun! This kind of outing uses limited energy, you’re inside in the warm and have access to snacks to claim back some spoons of energy!

What do I do when my friends have more energy than me?

As you get older, you might start noticing that your friends that have a healthy heart have more energy than you.  This can be hard to experience and may seem unfair that you have less energy so may only be able to join in with some of the social activities. It’s okay to feel a bit jealous. That is a completely normal feeling but its not your friends fault.

If you surround yourself with good friends and talk to them about having less energy, they will be more likely to understand and maybe plan some less energetic more relaxed social times. They might be able to help speak up for you when you’re embarrassed or find activities that you can do together comfortably. We know that this might be awkward and embarrassing at first but if they don’t know how you feel or how they can help they can’t.

“Some social activities what are good are to go for a short walk to a nearby park with friends or family or go swimming but know your own limits, another activity is hanging out with friends which is good because it doesn’t take up a lot of energy and is enjoyable’’ – Youth Member, Emma

'I try to make friends but I just meet bullies'

We know that all schools, colleges and online platforms have anti-bullying policies in place and a safe place to talk but that doesn’t always stop the bullying from taking place. Unfortunately, most people come across some form of bullying in their life. This doesn’t mean it’s okay though.

Bullies often target people that are different to them, this can sometimes make young people with half a working heart a target for them. Speaking to a lot of youth members we know that this is often the case so if you have experienced bullying, you are not alone. Whilst we can’t come to each place and actively stop the bullying, we can help support you if this is something you are going through.

We asked some youth members to put together their bullying top tips.

  • Find an adult you trust and speak to them about the bullying. The more alone I felt in this situation the harder it was. Nothing can be done if no-one knows what’s going on.
  • Sometimes I find speaking to a friend about it as helpful as one of the adults. Just talking about it and knowing someone understands helps.
  • I find talking to someone who doesn’t know me but will listen helps. Like the bullying helpline or one of LHM’s mentors.
  • I always keep a notebook so if I do report it I can show exactly what happened and get believed.
  • I use the block button – it’s there for a reason.

If you are being bullied, we want you to understand that it is not your fault. No one has the right to make anyone feel down about themselves. If you are struggling with bullying you are welcome to come to us and talk about it or go to the links below.

https://chat.lhm.org.uk

https://www.childline.org.uk/info-advice/bullying-abuse-safety/types-bullying/bullying-cyberbullying/

https://www.nationalbullyinghelpline.co.uk/contact.html

Friends with a heart like yours.

We have spoken about how it can be difficult to talk about your heart with your heart healthy friends or that sometimes hard to keep up with less energy.

A great thing about being a LHM youth member is that you are part of a community with lots of people your age that have similar hearts. You can create friendships on our youth events or in the LHM youth hub. Talk to people who understand and feel less alone on your journey.

Want to sign up to our hub? Click the link below

https://chat.lhm.org.uk