LHM Youth Lifestyle Information – Feeling Angry

I get really angry sometimes, I don’t know why?
The LHM team often hear from young members that they are angry. We work with them to try and help them understand why they feel that way. This happens often so please don’t feel alone if you feel angry too.
Sometimes we know why we are angry, it might be that we feel left behind as our friends have more energy, because we think it’s unfair that we were born with half a heart or for something that has nothing to do with your heart. It’s okay to feel angry, it’s a normal emotion that everyone goes through.

On occasion you might feel really angry but are not sure why? This can be hard to understand but all the feelings we have inside that we can’t control mix together and come out as anger. If you have a lot of stress or pressure around us we can find this hard to process and it comes out looking like anger. If this is a passing emotion then this is also ok and very normal.
You might start to notice that you have ‘triggers’ or certain things that brings certain negative and unwanted emotions up. Emotions such as lack of control or fear and this then progresses to anger. It’s really healthy to start tracking these triggers to help either avoiding them or working through them. Examples of triggers might be a doctor’s appointment, meeting with friends or just when you can’t sleep.
It is important to know that if we start to see our anger get bigger and turn into disruptive or negative behaviour it might be time to look at some coping tools or find someone to talk to.

I’ve been told that I ‘lash out’ but I can’t help it?
Lashing out is something that we sometimes find hard to control but we really need to try. It means that the anger we feel has gotten bigger and we lose control of it, taking it out on the people we usually feel the safest with.
We know that the half a heart journey can be a challenging one with ups and downs and it can seem unfair but letting our anger get out of control doesn’t make it any easier. Your parents/guardians and siblings are usually the people that are affected by your anger and they just want to support you.
How anger can affect my heart
Whilst feeling angry is a normal and completely understandable on your half a heart journey, if you feel yourself being angry more and more we need to work together to look at ways to cope with it.
Why?
When we get angry it also has a physical effect on our body. Our heart rate increases, we might see our breathing changing and our faces getting redder. We are filling our body with unwanted negative emotions and getting out of breath whilst doing it, using much needed energy.
Once in a while this is fine and normal, but if we start to feel this every day we need to look at why and what we can do about it.


Techniques to help deal with anger
If you see yourself losing control of your anger more often it might be an idea to try the following techniques to see if they can help.
- Create a soothing playlist. We are all different so we find different music relaxing. Create your own playlist so that you can put your headphones in and let your favourite music calm you down. Here’s an example of a soothing playlist that might help.
- Do some breathing techniques. If you focus on your breathing your mind will no longer focus on your trigger or the emotions you feel that have led to anger. Here is a link to teach you some different techniques.
- Talking to someone you trust. Having a chat with someone that understands your journey and feelings can really help and feel like a weight is lifted from your shoulders. That person can be family, LHM, someone at school or any other trusted person.
- Track your triggers, start to look for anything that makes you feel angry. Does it come from nowhere or does it usually follow the same thing? If you start to understand where your anger is coming from you will be able to manage it in a better way.
Resources for feeling angry
If you feel like you need to speak to someone professionally about your anger, firstly well done as its very brave to recognise this. Secondly have a look at the links below to possible places that might be able to help.
Childline – For support and Information
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Young Minds – For information on how to access counselling
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